Let the games begin

This is my first week kind of "transitioning" from invalid to trying to get things done. My goal is to do a few school drop-offs and pick-ups, swimming lessons, violin lesson, soccer and observe in clinic (not go near my clinic kid so as to avoid any potential abuse).

My mom is taking me in the morning to my appointment to have my stitches removed. Yikes. Then I am sure I will learn when I can drive, what I should be doing rehab wise and what to avoid (like long runs and yoga I'm sure). I haven't filled any prescriptions for pain medication - until tonight. I have had pretty bad headaches (behind my eyes) these past few days, and I think it'll be good to take a little something before I go to bed tonight to really let my body really rest and relax.

Following my appointment my mom is dropping me off at GU to observe treatment for our kid. I'm really looking forward to this...to using my brain again!

And as for those pain meds....here I come!

Thanksgiving

The things of which I am thankful this year:
OBVIOUS
Don't need to go any further.
Why waste time stating the obvious when I could be playing with the kids...or at least laying next to Murph on the couch watching Linny, Tuck and Ming Ming!

recovery

Recovery. What is that? I am sitting here in this gorgeous open-back hospital gown on a bed that keeps pumping itself up for circulation. The lady next door has machines beeping like crazy. I know it's better for me to be here and not home because there I would have three bubbly kids jumping on my bed. Probably not the best. However at least I'd be looking at their smiling faces.

Patience. Something of which I need more. Things like this take time. As does blogging from a Blackberry. Strains the eyes too. Peace out.

Thanks for all the well-wishes and prayers. Much appreciated.

Recovery time

Saturday afternoon and Kelly has officially been taken off of all IV's and tubes. She is up and walking around. A complete miracle in my book. She was able to shower this morning and was able to wash her hair and become a real person again. The doctors and nurses are all in awe over how well she is doing. She will most likely stay in the hospital for the next couple of days but should be home on Monday or Tuesday. She was moved yesterday morning to her new room on the 8th floor and has a great view of downtown. She is in great spirits but is a little bored. Our lives should be back to normal shortly.
Best Regards,

Trevor

The ICU

Good morning from the Sacred Heart Medical Center ICU. Kelly is resting very peacefully and has been breathing on her own without the use of the tube for the past couple of hours now. Her voice is a little scratchy and she talks quietly but she is a complete trooper. The Dr. came in early this morning and indicated that everything is OUT and she will need to spend one more night in the ICU. They will transfer her into the normal room tomorrow morning where she will stay through the weekend. The ICU nurse indicated that the next time the Neurosurgeon wanted to see Kelly was in 3 months for a follow up.

The Recovery

So I made my way back to the hospital around 8 this evening. Kelly looking like the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen with about 14 tubes coming out of every location in her body. Her head was wrapped in a very sheik white head dress and her breathing being done by a tube. Let's just say this is not the sight I needed to see after worrying about the love of my life for the past 6 hours let alone 5 days. But, true to form and as drugged up as she was I walk in the room and she shoots straight up in bed higher than a kite and starts looking around. Almost made me poop my pants right then and there. She squeezed my hand and put her head into the nook of my neck and I knew at that time everything will be alright. She did what the doctors instructed - give thumbs up and move her legs. They gave her a dose of the drug that Michael Jackson took before he died, but in a safe form and out she went again. I sat there for roughly an hour before she was wheeled to her MRI and I left. It has been almost 12 hours since I have been able to talk to this women and it feels like an eternity.

The good news is that she will be getting the breathing tube out tomorrow morning and she will also be weened off some of the medications by tomorrow evening. All I want is my wife back. I am very lucky that Kelly's parents are in town and they are great with the kids. This allows me to be a little more focused on being at the hospital. They did indicate that we should have a person at the hospital all night tomorrow because there will be more pain/other issues to deal with and it makes it much easier if there is a loved one in the room.

I have now been awake for a full 24 hours and it is finally time for this guy to go to bed.

The conclusion

I received a phone call and a text from a very private source telling me that her husband was in the OR and had insider information that the surgery was a success. Thanks Adrienne for the call, you made my and our families day. After that I spoke to the receptionist and she indicated that I should answer the phone on the other counter. Of course the phone's ringer was very quite and I did not hear it ring so of course I missed the call. They were actually nice enough to call my cell phone and give me the official update. They indicated that she was in the process of being closed up and everything went great.
About 45 minutes later I spoke to the doctor and he indicated that everything went well. He said that the tumor was almost the size of a tennis but completely BENIGN. Since the tumor was larger than expected they will have to keep the breathing tube in for the night. Also if you know Kelly she was a little anxious to come to so keeping her asleep for the night will only help in the long run. I will be running back down to the hospital after the kiddos fall asleep shortly and you will most likely get one more update before the owner of this site comes back to full form. Have a great night and thanks to everyone for your prayers and thoughts throughout this time.

update 2

Here we go again. I am sitting in the hospital with George, Kelly's dad. I was told by the receptionist that the surgery is scheduled to last until around 6-7pm. Other than that there is really no news to tell. The Thomas Hammer Coffee store closed over an hour ago and I now need to make my way down to the cafeteria. I have officially been awake for roughly 16 hours now and I have never used facebook so many times in my life. The weird thing is that I have seen roughly 10 different couples come and go since I have been sitting here in the waiting room. Looking forward to the next update. I am starting to get a little anxious. Maybe time for another happy pill.

Trevor

Update number 1

I have never done this little blog thing before but lets give it a try. Kelly was wheeled away out of the room around noon this afternoon. We were prepped by the anesthesiologist around noon. He indicated that there would do around 1.5 hours of prep work with getting the drugs administered, knocking her out, and prepping for the surgery. According to my calculations that would mean she should be starting in the next couple of minutes. The last I was told was that I/we should expect the surgery to go until 5-7pm tonight.

On the other hand, I have never seen a patient in such good spirits before going in for brain surgery. This women is a trooper and I know that she is in great hands. Kelly and I really appreciate everyone's support during this difficult period. You have all been so awesome. More to come soon.

Thanks so much

Trevor

The waiting game

Trevor and I came to the hospital at 6am, got all prepped and poked and IVed. I talked with Brian Murphy, who just happens to be doing the anesthesiologist and who just happens to be my friend on Facebook (along with his wife)! :0) He said all is well, and he'll be seeing me soon. Adrienne was mad he didn't give me a hug, but I'll let it slide as long as he gives me good drugs. Dr. Gruber came in and said the MRI looked good because I stayed nice and still! (You can thank Brian for the slightly sedated state.) They're taking the images from the MRI and making a computer model of the brain/tumor/etc. and getting it ready for my 11:30 surgery. The priest came in to do a little prayer/blessing, so I feel like all bases are covered!
Had a quick little scare...the nurse said she needed to get another urine sample because the first urine pregnancy test (when I first came in this morning) was "inconclusive." WHAT?? Good news, however, the second test came back negative. Whew.
I am now down to 45 minutes (provided there are no delays) before I'm taken back to get wasted...I mean...receive my cocktails prior to surgery. If I have to sit here and watch Kathy Lee on this morning show any longer I may singlehandedly get this surgery started earlier!
I can feel those positive energy vibes from across the country and greatly appreciate it!

I just realized...

I remember back a week or so ago (and even in the months prior) I was feeling really overwhelmed. I had Georgia in school and activities, Murphy in school and activities, even a soccer class for Millie. I was doing Pilates, running, and doing my grad school at GU two days a week. I felt overwhelmed with articles to read and present on, treatment protocols to create, things to remember. I felt like I couldn't catch up with anything. I developed tactics to tackle laundry, preparing dinners, and organizing toys, which helped matters, but I still felt like the only time I wasn't running around was at night when I was shutting my eyes to go to bed (or watching hours of mindless TV before crashing).

I believe this is my wake-up call. I need to slow down. Yes, the kids enjoy their sports and activities, and will continue to be involved and active. I should've taken a hint from the stress I was feeling, however, that I, myself, needed to slow down.

I can't believe how fast time flies. I can't believe Georgia is in kindergarten and Murphy in preschool. I can't believe Millie is starting to talk. These are the days I need to be focused on them. The little things. I am a stay-at-home mom for a reason. I know what their favorite games are, and I can play it with them. I can let Murphy brush my hair and put three headbands on me. Millie can wear those cowboy boots of Murphy's to Home Depot with me. I am so fortunate to have this opportunity. These are the moments I need to be focusing on. These are the moments I live for.

When I return home Monday (well, I may be a little out of it for a while after Monday, but soon enough) these are the things I will focus on. 100%. These are my kids. My husband. My family.

I am in bed. Middle of the night. I can't sleep for several reasons. One: Millie is in my bed and keeps kicking me. Two: I have a massive headache. Three: I have some major anxiety going on.
My mom, Trevor and I went to the neurosurgeon appointment yesterday and met Dr. Gruber. What a neat guy. I have the utmost confidence the surgery will go wonderfully. He made me feel 100 times better...even if it was only for the remainder of the afternoon and night. We looked at my brain MRI at the tumor and he described the procedure that will take place for surgery. Because of the location, he will have to do an open biopsy instead of a needle aspiration. This means that I will go in (TOMORROW!) and following an early morning MRI I will be admitted to the hospital for surgery. He will shave a patch on the back of my head, cut a T and open things up. From there he will take a biopsy of the tumor, get the results (while I'm still on the OR table) and them come back to remove the tumor. We will go from there. One day at a time. Think good thoughts. Positive energy sent my way, please.
I have a fear that there is something going on in my neck and I am hoping and praying it's just stiffness from compensating for the headaches as I try to skeep. Again, happy thoughts.

One day at a time...

I had my MRI Friday for the headaches that I have had for some time. Every time I lie down. It turns out there is a reason for those headaches. I have a 3.8cm (1.5") tumor on my left cerebellum. I am still speechless. It's so surreal. The doctor said he can't believe I'm not having worse symptoms due to its size and location. The cerebellum is the small piece in the back of the brain, and to have something that "impressive" and not have gait problems or uncoordination is quite something. I have an appointment tomorrow (was Tuesday but my friend Mel called the doctor and got me in earlier) with Dr. Gruber, who has done my friend/neighbor/doctor's back surgery and is a friend of my other friend/neighbor/doctor. The good news is I know half the doctors in Spokane :0) and they all rave about him. I just can't believe it. My mom is coming to town tonight. I am so scared. Don't know what to expect. I have to tell myself 'one day at a time,' but laying in bed in the middle of the night just thinking of everything makes it hard!! God bless anti-anxiety meds because I slept for 11 hours last night!

When Mel talked to Dr. Gruber at the function they were both attending last night, he said there will be no biopsy on Monday's appointment, but just an informational type meeting to go over the results of the MRI and discuss the plan. The biopsy could be scheduled for as early as Wednesday, and the the ball will continue to roll from there. One day at a time...

pretty much how I feel